FMA Quiz Show
by Ms Amber
Summary: YOU, our audience, are going to have to ask our FMA characters a quiz question! Can they get it right? Or are they damn-right dumb! Find out in the FMA Quiz Show, hosted by Mei Chang and her adorable panda-cat Xiao Mei! Rated T for violence and swearing
1. Episode One

**FMA Quiz Show**

**Episode One: Example Of How This Show Works**

**PoX's Note: ****Well, I actually got help from both the Gem Alchemist and the I-Have-No-Idea-What Alchemist. And I actually don't know what Alchemist the other Alchemist is, and now I'm just confusing myself ^^. So, again, it's another humour story that is kind of similar to another story I wrote, except this is going to be even funnier, I guarantee. Thanks again to the two Alchemists and I hope you all fellow readers enjoy this story! Please R&R!**

…

"Hello and welcome to the FMA Quiz Show!" Mei Chang, the host for this show, announced loudly to the audience.

The audience cheered and applauded for what seemed like hours until they finally quieted down.

"So," Mei said, "this is the very first episode of the FMA Quiz Show, and this episode is going to tell you how this show works. So now, first of all, either the audience or the author of this story will ask one of the FMA characters a question based on either the first series or the second series, who cares. So, if the character gets it right, they get a free cookie – choc-chip – and get to leave this show… alive." She said the word "alive" as though she was trying to act all scary and stuff. "Anyways," she continued on cheerfully, "if they get it wrong, either the audience or the author – again – get to choose a punishment for that character. After that character gets punished, they can leave the show."

The audience applauded once more, excited for what was going to happen.

Mei took out her palm cards and read them quietly before announcing loudly to the waiting crowd: "So, this is an example of what I mean, if any of you still don't understand and would like to see what I mean." She shuffled the cards and the audience waited patiently as Mei finished shuffling and read the cards. The audience held their breath as she read aloud: "This question is from the author of this story to go to… Envy!"

The crowd cheered with excitement as Mei left the stage and dragged Envy over to the spotlight. "Wha…?" Envy looked around in confusion, and he kept closing his eyes continuously, as though the bright light was way too much for him. "What the hell am I doing here?"

"You're in the FMA Quiz Show," Mei replied impatiently as though she couldn't believe that Envy had no idea where he was. "And the author wants you to answer a quiz question for her."

Envy was still confused, despite Mei's explanation. So he asked, "FMA… Quiz Show? What's that?"

"Wow, you're slow in trying to understand what I mean," commented Mei. Her pet, Xiao Mei, who was on her shoulder the whole time, laughed at Envy's stupidity. "Anyways, this is the question. _Can you remember how you died in the FMA Brotherhood Series?"_

The crowd "ooed" and "aahed" as Envy looked very thoughtful, as though trying to figure out what the answer was. "Well, I shouldn't be here in the first place. But seeing that you all want me to answer this dumb question so badly, then I guess I'll answer it anyway. Umm… let's see, obviously I died before they met the gold-toothed doctor… Wait, wasn't it that Colonel Mustang guy who killed me? I guess I have to admit that I was getting pwned by that stupid human… So, am I right?"

"WRONG!" Mei shouted, and the audience laughed at his stupidity. Xiao Mei cracked up and fell down off her owner's shoulder. "You actually died because you killed yourself, idiot. Even I know that, even though I wasn't there to see it." She looked at her palm cards once more. "Okay, so the punishment for now…" The crowd held their breath once more as Mei shuffled her palm cards once more. Envy was totally embarrassed, as though he couldn't believe he got that simple question wrong.

"The punishment, one again, coming from the author of this story, reads: _The audience gets to throw coconuts at Envy if he gets it – the question - wrong. And it must hit him at least three times._"

"Why coconuts?" asked Envy, curious now.

"I haven't finished yet, dumb guy!" Mei snapped. Xiao Mei stared at the palm card as Mei Chang continued on: "Umm… it says: _I chose coconuts because you know… Envy looks like a palm tree and all… hehe…_"

"WHAAAT?" Envy was mad, never madder in his life. "Where's the author of this story? Or at least the one who said all that? I'm going to choke her to death! Or even STAB HER! PALM TREE! How dare anyone say that? I AM NOT A FRIGGIN' PALM TREE!"

"SHUT UP!" Mei shouted. "I still haven't finished!"

"THEN WHAT DOES IT SAY?" Envy demanded angrily as he braced himself for another insult, but instead what he heard was even more surprising than he expected it to be.

"It reads: _No offense Envy! You're my favourite character!_"

"Favourite character? As in… I'm her favourite character?" The Homunculus was totally dumbfounded and surprised.

"Yup!" Mei replied. "So now, audience, get your coconuts ready. Envy," she added to the Homunculus. "I'll give you three seconds to move around freely before the crowd throws their coconuts at you." She took out a whistle, and got ready so that she could blow it. "Okay… three, two, one… THROW!" She blew the whistle, and a loud "BEEEP" came out of it. The audience launched their coconuts at Envy, who was running madly everywhere. "Envy the Homunculus is running around like he's the best dodger ever!" Mei reported through the microphone. Xiao Mei danced around her shoulder, attempting to throw coconuts as well. "There's a coconut flying on his head… OUCH!" she cried as the coconut landed on Envy's forehead. "That must have hurt! Two more times to get hit…"

"This is such a dumb show!" Envy hissed. "I'm just going to keep getting owned by these stupid coconuts, and it's all that authors—GAAAHH!" He rubbed his stomach in pain as another coconut landed on him.

"WOW!" Mei cried. "Awesome throw! The last one to hit him will get a free cookie!" Xiao Mei grinned as Envy glared at Mei.

Envy spat: "Well, I'm leaving right now!" He suddenly disappeared out into thin air, and so nobody got to hit him for the third time… sadly. Mei shrugged, as though she didn't really care if the punishment was finished or not. But Xiao Mei thought differently and was looking disappointed, and so did the crowd. They all wanted to laugh while Envy was being humiliated. "I guess that's too bad," she sighed. "It was no skin off my nose. So, now that we're concluding the first episode of the FMA Quiz Show, I'd like to wish you all goodbye and hope that you all enjoyed this show and would watch it again and again! Oh, and, now you know how this show works too! We'll be waiting!"

The crowd cheered again and Mei concluded the show.

…

**PoX's Note: ****How was it? Did it meet your expectations? I sure hope so. Well, that's the end of the very first Episode of the FMA Quiz Show, and I want to thank the Gem Alchemist and other Alchemist once more for helping out. If you want to ask an FMA Character a question, then go ask. Well, anyways, please review and… oh! This is actually very important:**

**I'LL BE UPDATING WEEKLY.**

**Well, that's about it. Well, please review and thanks for reading this story.**


	2. Episode Two

**FMA Quiz Show**

**Episode Two: Love, Rejection and Milk**

**PoX's Note: ****So this is this week's chapter! The Gem Alchemist edited a few things from this chapter, whereas the 'Love DM' Alchemist – formerly known as the I-Have-No-Idea-What Alchemist – changed more things on this chapter than the Gem Alchemist {If the Love DM Alchemist is reading this right now, sorry but I think Love DM Alchemist really suits you, unless you want to be called the I-Have-No-Idea-What Alchemist!}. If you think that updating weekly is too long, well, too bad, because sadly, I cannot update any sooner unless – yes, UNLESS – I have spare time to write the chapter. So, if you were wondering about that, then I have just answered your question. So… back to the point, I hope you enjoy this story very, very much and please read very carefully and take your time and review!**

…

"Welcome back to the FMA Quiz Show!" Mei declared loudly to the cheering audience. "This is the very second episode of this show, and I bet you're all excited!" Xiao Mei waved her hands proudly to attract some attention towards her. After all, it was only Mei who got all the attention. It would be good if she got some too.

"So now," Mei swept on, "our first quiz question is from oORiceballOo and it goes to…" There was a short pause before Mei announced, "Riza Hawkeye!"

The crowd went utterly crazy – for some odd reason - as Riza stepped out from backstage feeling awkward to have so much attention towards her. Mei blinked encouragingly at her and continued by saying, "Now, Riza, are you ready for the quiz question that everyone's been waiting for?"

Riza nodded, still embarrassed. "Umm… I guess so…"

"And so, the question is…" Mei – yet again – did one of her short pauses before asking, oh, so very sweetly, "Do you like Roy, Riza-san?"

Riza felt anger surge through her. "LIKE HELL I WOULD!" she snapped at the Xingese girl.

From backstage, both Mei and Riza heard Ed laughing his head off as he said, "Hahaha! The Colonel just got rejected!" The Colonel himself, who was standing next to Ed, fell to his knees, totally depressed.

"I think I'm gonna commit suicide any moment now…" he grumbled, and it seemed that there were clouds of gloom forming around his head, and he just grew older.

"Plus," Riza added, still mad – and not seeming to notice the fact that the Colonel was even there listening to her, "that's not even a quiz question!"

"At least it's still a question," Mei replied. "So, because – I guess – you got it right… I'll give you a cookie!" She pulled out a cookie from a jar. "Do you like choc-chip?"

Ed stared at the cookie hungrily. He stomped out of the backstage and demanded to Mei, "Give me a cookie too!"

"You're just in time, beanie," the small girl said. Xiao Mei cracked up.

"BEANIE?" Ed was just as mad as Riza, maybe even madder. "WHO THE *BEEP* ARE YOU CALLING A BEANIE?"

"You, you dumbass," Mei sighed. Sometimes people older than her could be so damn stupid at times. "Well, you're just in time, because oORiceballOo has a quiz question to ask you. If you get it right, then I'll give you a cookie. If not, then you're going to face hell."

"Just tell me the question so I can get a cookie!" Ed snapped, impatient now.

"Okay, okay!" Mei looked at her palm cards. "Let's see… the question is…" She looked at Ed. "_How many times have you faced embarrassment because you thought you were going to die but it turns out that you didn't die at all_?" Both Xiao Mei and Ed looked at Mei in confusion.

"Wait… what?"

"_How many times have you faced embarrassment because you thought you were going to die but it turns out that you didn't die at all_?" Mei repeated.

"That's such a long question!" Ed complained. "I didn't even get half of it!" Xiao Mei nodded, agreeing with 'the beanie' for once.

"Then let's make it shorter," Mei replied. "Umm… How many times have you almost died but never did?"

"That's better…" Ed sighed. "Wait… hey! Are you trying to embarrass me here? I've NEVER EVER faced embarrassment because I've almost died but never did! I've NEVER EVER almost died in my life!"

"That's where you're WRONG!" Mei cried, and the crowd laughed at his idiocy. "Sorry, but no cookie for YOU!" Xiao Mei practically laughed her head off. "So now, because you got the question wrong, you have to face punishment!"

"No cookie? WHY?THAT'S SO UNFAIR!" Ed complained.

"Nup, seeing that you got the question wrong. You see, if you get the question right, then you don't have to face hell and not get a cookie. Because Riza got the question right – I think – and so she got a choc-chip cookie, whereas you got the question wrong."

"NO COOKIE!" Ed whined, still over the fact that he didn't get one.

"So now," Mei went on cheerfully, "the punishment – and the author thought of this one – is here!" Colonel Mustang happily came out from backstage, and so did Winry. They both carried milk bottles (four milk bottles) and set them on a table that was in front of Ed. "You have to drink all four milk bottles," Mei explained.

The Colonel was cracking up now, which made Ed look like a total jackass. "I'm not going to drink that," he told Mei seriously.

Mei shrugged. "Well," she said, "that's just too bad for you. You got the question wrong, you know."

Ed just stared at the milk bottle. "Can't you just think of a better punishment?" he asked.

"TOO BAD and just DRINK IT or I'll MAKE YOU!" Mei shouted.

"I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK COW PISS!" Ed yelled back. "YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME!"

Both the Colonel and Winry started cracking up. Ed – in embarrassment, fled backstage, and so Mei and Colonel Mustang chased after him. Riza was just staring at them, shaking her head at their immatureness (and also eating her choc-chip cookie too!), while the automail mechanic sighed and followed them (very, very slowly).

…

"In the end, we somehow managed to catch up with Ed and force the milk down his throat," Mei told the watching audience who was muttering. Ed was at the back of the spotlight – just visible – puking over and over again the milk.

"Curse those cows," he coughed. "And I didn't manage to get my choc-chip cookie too… sniffle."

Riza tutted and Winry laughed.

"And so, that concludes this week's show," Mei announced. Colonel Mustang turned around and dragged Ed out of the stage where he could puke in the toilets. After a while, both Riza and Winry followed him.

"See you now and I hope that you have enjoyed watching this show! Can't wait for next week's one now, eh?" Mei winked and the show was finished.

*TV switches off*

…

**PoX's Note: ****Did you enjoy that? I hope you did. I've put a whole lot of effort on this one. Personally I like the part when the Colonel and Winry make their awesome appearance by presenting milk bottles to Ed, who, I hope you all know, doesn't like milk, and refused to drink it. If any of you are wondering why Mei is the host and not Envy – seeing that I'm a total fan of Envy – well, that's because Mei's so awesome and because she practically only shows the most respect and love towards Al and no one else. Oh, and next chapter, it's going to be based on Ling and LanFan and Greedling. I hope that answers any of your questions – that is, if you ever thought about any of these questions- and all suggestions will be accepted and put into this story (unless someone has already mentioned it). Feedback is accepted too (I. Love. Feedback.) and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for reading and I will be updating next week!**


	3. Episode Three

**FMA Quiz Show**

**Episode Three: Xingese Rivals**

**PoX's Note: ****Yeah! I'm back again! YAY! Well, I was kidding when I called the other Alchemist the 'Love DM Alchemist', that was just a joke. It's still the 'Other Alchemist'. So, I got some more help from her again, and also from the Gem Alchemist. Go them! Back to this story, as you can see from the title of this episode, it's based on the Xingese people! Except Fu's not in it because if he was, what's he doing there in the first place? Well, enjoy.**

Mei – for the third time – announced to the cheering crowd, "Welcome back AGAIN to the FMA Quiz Show!"

Yet again, the crowd cheered with excitement, all wondering what would happen in this episode. The host of the show, too, was jumping up and down with excitement. Obviously this episode was going to be fun, and amusing.

"Well, to begin with," the host began, "Xiao Mei is actually sick today, so she's not in today's show, sadly. She just missed out on the funniest episode! Oh yeah, I'm just going to tell you this episode is going to be very, very hilarious. Now, back to the show, let's see… the very first question is from Pavalova… and it goes to…" A short pause followed after that and there was a quiet drumroll. "… Greedling!"

The Homunculus stepped out from the shadows of the curtain and stood in the spotlight. He looked very content; don't forget he wants to become King of the World, so it's not very surprising he likes the attention. "You're not Ling, aren't you?" Mei added. She didn't want Ling to suddenly pop out of his own body and ruin the show.

"Of course not," Greedling replied. "Do you want proof?" He narrowed his eyes.

"N-no," Mei stammered. "I'm fine. That's proof enough. Well, so, are you, umm… ready for the one question that Pavalova has for you?"

"Well, duh…"

"Okay!" the host cried, and the crowd hollered with anticipation. "SO NOW, the ONE QUESTION is… _'Does Ling have a girlfriend… or at least someone that he loves and cares for?'_"

"Of course he does," Greedling snorted. From inside, Ling jumped up and demanded, _"Greed! Stop talking and just SHUP UP before my rival finds out who I really like! Seriously! If she finds out she's going to laugh her head off and the Yao Clan will be humiliated and then the person I care about is going to kill me too because she just got humiliated as well and –"_

"So you admit that you like someone? Gee…" Greedling sighed. "You blabber too much. That's how people find answers from you. But then, sometimes I wish you didn't exist."

"_If I didn't exist then you wouldn't be alive right now, you dope!"_

"Whatever," he shrugged. To Mei he added, "Well, he does."

"Then you're… CORRECT!" she declared, and she handed Greedling a cookie, in which he ate on it happily. "So then…" she stared sweetly at him and asked innocently, "Who does he like?"

Greedling finished his cookie and was about to answer when – and this is the most disappointing part for Mei – Ling somehow, in anger and embarrassment, reclaimed his body and snapped at his Xingese rival, "No freaking way is he going to tell you! Plus, you told Greedling that you were going to ask him ONE question. ONE QUESTION. OKAY? So that means you can't ask him another! Ha! Snap! Beat that! Ney!"

Mei was totally sad and depressed. "Just when I was going to find out the answer…" she sighed. Then she stared at her palm cards and immediately brightened up. "Wait…" she swung around to stare at Ling. "I did say I was going to ask Greedling a question, right?"

"I just said that before!" the Xingese prince replied impatiently.

"Yeah well, I can still ask YOU a question, and plus, it's a good thing that IvyShort asked this question too," Mei replied. "So, you ready for it?"

"NO WAY!" Ling shouted. "I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT!"

"Too bad, then," Mei answered cheerfully. "So then, the question from IvyShort is… _'You like Lan Fan, don't you?'_"

"N-NO WAY!" Ling stammered hastily. "I don't like her at all! AT ALL! She means NOTHING to me! NOTHING, YOU HEAR, NEY?"

Mei did a pretend cry. "Boy, I feel so sorry for Lan Fan," she sobbed sarcastically. "The one she loves just broke her heart.

True enough, for Lan Fan was actually backstage. She ran up to Ling and cried, "I thought you liked me! I THOUGHT YOU DID! And you told the audience that you DIDN'T! Do you know how SAD I feel right now? Don't you know that I've liked you all this time? Even before we left for Amestris?"

"H-huh?" Ling didn't even know what was going on. Everything was happening way too quickly for his liking. "Umm… I really like you… it's just that… I-I was only trying not to embarrass the Yao Clan in front of this Xingese brat…"

"Wouldn't it be better if you actually DID confess your feelings about me then go and embarrass us now in front of the *BEEPING* cameras?"

"Umm… well, you're the one who's actually embarrassing us…" Ling replied slowly.

Lan Fan blushed. "…Whoops," she said, and she backed away from the spotlight and hid away in the backstage, where she did her protesting and crying there. Mei was cracking up, as though that was the funniest scene she'd ever watched.

"You got the question WRONG, Ling Yao," Mei told the Xingese prince.

"I-I did? How did you know?"

"Don't think I didn't hear your talk with Lan Fan. You said, _'I really like you". _See? I actually listen, okay?"

"_She's got a good memory…" _Greed told Ling from inside.

"Shut up!" Ling snapped. "Then what happens if I get the question wrong?"

"You face punishment, and no cookie, that's what." Mei looked around. "So, the punishment was thought up by Pavalova, and it's one of the best I've actually heard so far in this show too," she added. "Well, let's see… where's the TV? I can't seem to find it."

Ed suddenly appeared pushing a TV into the spotlight. He was constantly tripping over the cable, but managed to drag it over. "Have fun watching this video, squinty-eyed bastard," he told Ling, winking at Mei, who winked back. Ling wondered what they were planning.

"_Oh, I'm so going to enjoy this…" _Greed said.

"Do you know what's happening?" Ling asked curiously.

"_No, it's just that, by Ed's voice, he seems as though he's already watched the movie and that it's going to make you feel rejected or something…"_

"Oh, okay… but like, what's going to make me feel rejected?"

"That," Mei replied, and she turned on the TV. As the movie played on, Ling's mouth soon dropped open, and fell down right to the floor, very, very slowly. His eyes turned from normally squinty to total shock and depression, and he fell to his knees in rejection.

"_Hahaha!" _Greed laughed from inside. _"That looks totally funny! What if that was true and Lan Fan really did that?"_

"Shut… up…" Ling said depressively. "Not… in… mood…"

You're probably curious to find out what was in the TV that made Ling feel like that, right? Well, the movie was based on that Lan Fan was dating other guys. Random _hot_ guys, to be precise. In real life, this is not true. Lan Fan made this movie in case Ling got the question wrong – in which he did – and that she would get revenge by making this movie. And it worked, and the real Lan Fan was laughing her head off backstage, even though she was still sad that Ling hurt her feelings.

"Told ya!" Ed laughed, and soon Mei was cracking up. Ling didn't even hear them. He was lost in his own, miserable world.

"And so that concludes today's episode!" Mei announced. "I hope you had fun today, because I sure did!"

The credits rolled in and it said:

_Mei = Host for the Show  
Xiao Mei = Panda  
Edward = TV Dragger  
Lan Fan = Movie Maker and Drama Queen :D  
Greedling = Question Answer-er  
Ling = The Lan Fan Lover 3_

_Thanks for watching today's episode of epic funny-ness and I bet you can't wait for next week's episode! Also, please review! Thank you!_

And the TV switches off.

...

**PoX's Note: ****Thanks for reading it! Sorry, but today, my Author's Notes are quite short. That's because... IT'S DA HOLIDAYS! This chapter is especially to the Gem Alchemist. Oh, and the other Alchemist. Please review and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year if I don't remember to tell you this on Christmas. Thank you all readers and have fun for the rest of the year!**


	4. Episode Four

**FMA Quiz Show**

**Episode Four: Colonel's Secrets, Revealed**

**PoX's Note:**** I'm updating way too late on all my stories now. Sorry! I always completely forget about a story and then suddenly remember it one month later. Well, all these questions are based on the military, and so I thank ****Mew Phong**** for the whole ton of questions! So, yes, this whole chapter is based on all of ****Mew Phong****'s questions to the Colonel. I'm actually really tired because the holidays in Adelaide and KI were really tiring. Well, enjoy this story, FMA fans! And I hope you laugh your head off! And a note to the Gem Alchemist: Sorry for not asking you to edit a bit of the story. And don't ask me why I didn't ask you to edit it, OK?**

...

"It's finally the fourth episode of the FMA Quiz Show!" Mei cried to the audience. Xiao Mei took out a ribbon and started dancing around with it to show her excitement.

"According to all the palm cards for this episode," the host continued, "It's going to be hilarious! And the questions are coming from **Mew Phong**!" The audience cheered some more and Mei Chang shuffled the deck of palm cards. She took one out and read it to the crowd, "This question is from **Mew Phong – **obviously - and goes to... Colonel Roy Mustang!"

"WHAT?" someone in the backstage shouted. "HIM? Why him? Why the Colonel bastard?" And obviously, you must know that it was Ed who was shouting.

"Shut up, rice grain man!" Mei snapped. "Do you want all your fans to turn into your haters? If no, then keep quiet!"

Meanwhile, the Colonel was coming out of the curtains and into the spotlight in his military uniform. "Umm... hi," he said awkwardly to the audience. He was a bit nervous because he was about to confess his love to Lieutenant Riza when Mei announced that he was to answer questions.

"You have three questions waiting for you," Mei told him. "Are you ready?"

"Well, duh," Colonel Mustang replied, impatient to get this over with so that he could continue his love poem to Riza.

"OK," Mei said. "I'm quoting EXACTLY what **Mew Phong **said. It reads: '_Why the hufflepuff did you grow a moustache? It looks terrible on you.'_" The crowd laughed their heads off as the Colonel flushed with embarrassment.

"First of all," the Colonel snapped, "it doesn't look ugly on me. It makes me look important, OK? And look; I shaved it off once the anime ended! So stop talking about my friggin' moustache, kapeesh?" He could hear Ed laughing backstage and added, "Once I'm finished, I'm going to fry some shrimp, so if you hear sizzling backstage, that's me burning a certain someone into ashes."

"Well, seeing that you looked like you were saying the truth," Mei replied, "then I guess you pass this question. Here's your cookie." She took out a choc-chip cookie from the cookie jar and showed it around to the audience.

"GASPERS!" That was Ed again. "I WANT THE COOKIE! GIVE IT TO ME!" The Fullmetal Alchemist ran onto the stage and pushed the Colonel aside. Mei quickly pulled her hand back before Ed could get his hands on it.

"No cookie for you, beanie!" she snapped.

"I don't care if you call me beanie; just give me the cookie!"

"Since when did you not care whether you were called small?"

"A while ago," Ed replied. "My addiction to cookies is very high right now, and so I wouldn't even notice if you started calling me small."

"Then does this work?" Mei asked. "Edward and Lan Fan sitting in a tree. K-I-S-"

"HOW DARE YOU?" Ed roared. "I HATE Lan Fan! She's like, the ugliest person in the whole wide world!"

"HOW DARE YOU?" That was Ling's voice. "Lan Fan is my bodyguard! No one insults my bodyguard like that! I mean, she might not look as nice –"

"HOW DARE YOU?" Now that was Lan Fan. "I'm pretty looking, OK? How dare you both think of me as ugly looking! I'll get you once this episode –"

"What's with the 'how dare you's', people?" Mei shouted. The Colonel was laughing while he ate his cookie. Ed stared at the cookie hungrily. "And yes, Lan Fan is pretty ugly. And Ling has eye issues, and Ed's got height issues. That's final. Now get off stage before I feed your fingers to Xiao Mei."

The three angry people left the stage, angry.

"Second question!" Mei continued on. "It reads, _'__Had Riza not told you not to would you have preformed human transmutation?'_"

"Well..." The Colonel hesitated. The truth is, he would have. And if he got the question wrong, then Riza would know and kill him, and then he was done for. But if he answered it truthfully, would she? And he could also laugh at the shrimp for not getting a cookie. Yes, that's what he'd do.

"I would've," Colonel Mustang answered bravely. "Because If Riza didn't look up, then I wouldn't have known that the chimeras and the others were there."

"Nice answer," Mei Chang replied. "I say CORRECT!"

The crowd cheered.

"Now, I'll give you your choc-chip cookie," Mei said, "but before that..." She glanced at the backstage area and asked, "Scar, can you stop Ed from getting onto the stage? Otherwise he'd ruin the show." Scar nodded reluctantly and pushed Ed aside, because the Fullmetal Alchemist was attempting to steal the cookie.

Mei handed the Colonel the cookie. "Here's your final question: _'Would you have killed Envy even though Riza threatened to kill you and herself?'_"

"No."

"Hmm... CORRECT!" Mei declared. "Wow, Colonel! You got all three questions correct! Riza must be proud of you. Now go backstage and continue on with your love poem with Riza."

"OK... wait! How did you know that I was saying a love poem to Riza? And why did you announce it in public?" Colonel Mustang demanded.

"I just do," Mei replied. "Now, leave."

"What about my choc-chip cookie?"

"You had two already. Unless you want to get fat."

"Shut up! I'm leaving now." And he ran backstage.

"Now," Mei continued. "That concludes this week's episode. Have a good day!" Xiao Mei waved a Japanese flag and the credits rolled in.

_Mei Chang = Awesome host of the FMA Quiz Show  
Xiao Mei = Mei Chang's awesome finger-biting cat-panda  
Colonel Roy Mustang = The Riza-lover and the answer-question pro  
Loser Edward Elric = The Fullmetal bean that ruins the whole show and has height issues  
Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye = The Roy-lover and the one who is good at sniping  
Ling Yao = The idiot prince with eye issues  
Lan Fan = The idiot prince's bodyguard who is extremely ugly  
Scar = The awesome one who stops the Fullmetal bean from ruining the show_

_Thanks for watching this week's hilarious episode. Hope that you don't miss next week's! Goodbye for the week, fellow fans!_

And the TV switched off.

...

**PoX's Note:**** Wow! I loved the credits, because I thought of that part quite carefully! Enjoyed it? I hope so. Now, I will try to update next week, and if I don't, shout at me through a PM, OK? No, don't do that! If a certain person sees angry fans PMing me, demanding why I'm not updating, then I'm dead. If you do send me a PM, it will either be feedback or a good comment. Not, "Why haven't you updated? If you don't update, I'll haunt you in your dreams! Muahaha!" No, not like that, OK? Well, I've got to go soon, so bye!**


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